Rearranging a few words increased my opt-ins by 500%

Have you ever seen a movie or TV show and been completely blown away by how good it was and then 2 months later see it again and were just as enamored as the first time?

3 weeks ago the wife and I started watching Newsroom on HBO. It’s so freaking good! Literally after every episode we both said “That is an amazing show!”

Click. <watch next episode>

For some reason I’m constantly blown away by the effect rearranging a few words can have on my business.

I’ve experienced it over and over but just last week it happened again and it reminded me of this simple truth.

Truth = HOW you describe your offer is just as important as the offer itself.

For example, I made a new opt-in bonus last week. It’s a swipe file that contains 6 of my favorite pop-ups and a 3-part free course on how to use pop-ups in your business. [You can download it for FREE here]

Instead of creating a big landing page or writing a blog post about it, I started off by throwing up a one line call to action in a HelloBar (the red/green bar at the top of this page). I’ve found this to be an easy and effective way to test a new bonus and the words I use to describe it.

This is how it typically goes: 

When I initially set it up, that percentage sucked. Less than 1% of the people that saw it downloaded the bonus.

Then I rearranged the words that I used to describe it and that percentage went up to 2.3%.

But I thought I could do even better than that so I re-arranged the words one last time and it jumped up to 3.9%.

The exact copy I used in HelloBar

The bonus didn’t change.

The content they were getting didn’t change.

The only change was the words I used to describe the offer.

Let that sink in.



Literally the only thing standing between 0.7% of people saying “Yes!” and 3.9% of people saying “Yes!” was a few words.

That’s a pretty big deal.

So, I’ve officially dedicated this Summer to getting better at arranging my words.

I’ve been scouring the interwebs for the best courses, books and training so that I can get better at this.

and you should too!

Here is the best of what I have found and studied so far.

1. The Dark Art of Writing Long-Form Sales Pages by Joanna Wiebe

2. This book will teach you how to write better by Neville Medhora 

3. How to Tell a Story by Donald Miller

4. The Boron Letters by Gary Halbert

5. Scientific Advertising by Claude Hopkins


Takeaway: Start paying attention to how you organize the words that you use to describe your offerings. Experiment with them. AND buy one of the 5 items listed above to learn how to get better.

PS: Do you have a book that’s helped you with your writing? Tell me what it is in the comments.